Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
