I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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