Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
