I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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