I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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