I could have mohawked her pubes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
