I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
