Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
