Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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