What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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