Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
