Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
