Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
