I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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