He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
