This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
