the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
