I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My ass is underappreciated
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
