He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
