There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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