we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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