my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
