cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize