i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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