dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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