yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
