I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize