I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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