I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize