Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize