if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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