I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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