I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
