Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
