I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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