dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
