yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
