I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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