Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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