Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
