Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ttyl tear gas
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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