Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
