I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
