Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
