today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize