Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
