I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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