I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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