He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
