just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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