if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
