so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
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You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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