i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
