honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
