and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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