You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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