would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
